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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28474053">A serious case of the Crabs.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusXXZ/pseuds/MagnusXXZ'>MagnusXXZ</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:29:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,379</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28474053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusXXZ/pseuds/MagnusXXZ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Watch out for the pinchers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A serious case of the Crabs.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A Serious case of the Crabs.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Viserys Targaryen. </strong>
</p><p>“Now this,” he held up the rope, “ is what’s referred to as a trout line.”</p><p>“You baited it before hand?” Jaehaerys inquired, as the rope was already spooled and what appeared to be chicken pieces tied in segments every arm’s length.</p><p>“Of course, we’d be here for hours otherwise. But as its your first time crabbing, I’ll explain to you how its done.” The older prince grabbed the rope and pulled it out of the basket. “Every arm’s length or so has this knot, you see?”</p><p>Viserys showed an empty one, like a slip knot,” you put the bit of chicken in here like so---” he then pulled the rope from either side and it tightened on the meat.</p><p>“Now that it’s secure, we’ll thread it in a trench. Ser Jaime, we’re far enough from the shore by now.”</p><p>The blond King’s Guard stopped rowing,” How do I keep getting dragged on these little aquatic adventures?”</p><p>“Silence now Lannister, I’m teaching.”</p><p>“The rope is about 1,200 feet long. And we tie the chicken in the knots, I had cook remove the skin as you can see. The crabs don’t seem to like them.” And sure enough, the chicken was just a pink little bit of meat.</p><p>“Who does?” Jaime snarked.</p><p>“Quiet Lannister.”</p><p>“Now, we drop the stone at the beginning of the trench—” Visery helped his nephew lift it, and toss it over the side of their boat, “ and as the stupidest Lannister rows, we feed the rope into the trench.”</p><p>“And the buoys?” Jae asked, pulling his long hair into a tight bun on top of his head.</p><p>“Those are to make it easier to keep up with our line, we don’t want to loose it now do we?”</p><p>“Now, keep rowing Lannister—” Viserys ordered, “as we feed the line into the trench we’ll drop another stone at the end. We want the line strung as tight as a bow.”</p><p>‘How long do we keep it in the water?” The Northern prince watched intently.</p><p>“Oh, by the time we finish dropping the line we’ll circle back to the beginning and start pulling it up and netting the crabs.”</p><p>This was how he’d been taught by Lord Monford and what better way of respecting such knowledge then passing it on?</p><p>“Nice little holiday from the wife and kids, am I right nephew?” As much as he loved his girls, a man needed some time to himself. And while he had three little dragons, his poor nephew had lucked himself into having eleven.</p><p>“True--,” Jae laughed,” you’d be hard pressed to find Lynesse on a boat. And my babies are just now learning to swim.”</p><p>“Honestly, I hate sea food. Why couldn’t we have just shot a boar?” Ser Jaime grumbled as his two royal charges ignored him, so he just kept rowing as they dropped the line.</p><p>“Gods, how did you put nine into Lynesse Hightower?” At a decade Jae’s senior many a lord had been waiting in the wings hoping that he’d put her aside when no children were forth coming.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Such hopes were dashed when the so called ‘Mother of Dragons’ had birthed five daughters within the first year. A son was produced a year later, then three more boys birthed at the same time the year after.</p><p>Apparently Lynesse, who’s love of all things in excess, also included babies.</p><p>“We weren’t expecting litters, uncle. And you’re one to talk, your two youngest are twins.” The dark haired prince pointed out, dropping another buoy into the water and estimating they were nearly half way done.</p><p>“Yes, <em>twins</em>. Five daughters &amp; three sons is quite a bit more then that. And little Aelyx born in the middle probably wonders why he doesn’t have brothers to match his reflection like all the others.”</p><p>“A nice juicy boar. Or some turkeys. I don’t mind turkey skins.” Ser Jaime rowed and complained.</p><p>“It just happened. Apparently I take after the Old King, he had a litter of his own.” Jae said, nearing the end of the line and grabbing the stone to toss over to finish it off.</p><p>“If I recall correctly, he only had one pair of twins. He just wouldn’t leave his queen alone. Or her bed---” as his nephew dropped the stone, Viserys turned to the King’s Guard,” now circle around, Lannister. We’re going to see what took the bait.”</p><p>“For fucks sake.”</p><p>“No wonder Lord Leyton is so smug, his daughter doubled the number of Targaryen’s in the world.” As Ser Jaime finally circled back to the front of the trench Viserys gestured with a pole with a hook on the end.</p><p>“Well, at least your paramour didn’t spawn a legion.”</p><p>“Still early days uncle, Obara has already given me two. One less then you I might add.”</p><p>“We shall see. Now for the task at hand. We’ll lift the rope as our good knight rows, the crabs that have taken the bait will hold on fiercely. You can snag them with the net as we go, then drop them into the second wicker basket.”</p><p>The netters job was straight forward, while the crabs would clamp onto the chicken and try and fight it free they would eventually spook and drop away as the rope was lifted by the pole hook.</p><p>It was Jaehaerys job to capture them before they do.</p><p>As they rowed, Jae grabbed them up. Catching nine out of every ten, not a bad first time. “Very good! We’re going to have a fine field supper.”</p><p>“If I’d wanted food out of the water, I could’ve married that Tully girl.” More grumbling, more rowing.</p><p>“Quiet now Lannister, I’m sure we have enough potato’s to steam with the crab to fill you up.”</p><p>“They’ll still taste like fish shit.”</p><p>“Now Jae, once we’ve pulled the line and filled our basket, we’ll need to measure them. Around five inches from flank to flank. Any smaller than it’s not worth eating.”</p><p>“Yes, yes uncle, I remember. And throw back the females too. I have hunted before you know—” The younger prince said with a smile, still standing on the side of the boat netting their dinner.</p><p>“Ah, how about you Lannister? Do you know how to tell a female from a male crab?”</p><p>“By the seven, why is that information I need to have?”</p><p>Ignoring the whining knight, Viserys continued to instruct,” think of a woman’s painted fingernails. As you can see, the female crabs have bright red tips.” And it was so.</p><p>“I could have gone my whole life without kno----ahhh!” Jaime stopped his rowing and cried out. “It bit me! That little monster bit my thigh, fuck get it off!”</p><p>He began to dance about the boat, trying to dislodge it all the while the princes laughed on and kept the boat from tipping.</p><p>“Its not biting you,” Visery said with a laugh,” its his pinchers.”</p><p>“Get if off! Why couldn’t I have been guarding Aegon? He has all his meals in the dining hall. For fuck---ahhh!” The anointed knight cried out as Jae reached over and snatched the beast from his thigh.</p><p>“Now that we’re done fooling around, make sure you pack them top up in the basket. They’ll die rather quickly otherwise. Once we get to the shore, Ser Arthur should have the bot ready. We’ll put them in with some apple vinegar, steam them up with some potato’s, and have a delicious meal. Jaime, do stop whining.”</p><p>“Bloody fisherman nonsense, why can’t you Targaryen’s stay on dry land.”</p><p>“We’re actually meant for the sky. But until we figure out how to hatch dragons again, we’ll just have to make due.” Jae said with a snicker, having enjoyed his own name day celebration with his uncle.</p><p>They would cook up their meal, sleep on the shore that night before having to head back to King’s Landing. Feasts &amp; the small folk would shout their names as they rode by but this outing would be the highlight of his day.</p><p>And Jaehaerys would remember all that he’d learn, so in turn he’d teach his on little ones when they were old enough.</p><p>Grinning at the thought, he’d make sure to bring Ser Jaime along too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apparently this is becoming a thing for the Targaryens. Remember to feed me with feedback, its what keeps me alive.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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